resides on east coast. falls in love too easily. judgemental. loner. insecure. drinks way too much. craves attention. pessimistic. narcissistic. musically inclined. shoe fetish. biter.
next up on having a vagina: are these cramps or should i tell my mom to take me to the hospital
Yeah that happened to me in 2012 and it turns out I have 2 uteruses.
whAT THE FUCK
KILL IT WITH FIRE
dude i hope you know that “je suis le pain” translates into “i am the bread”
I AM THE BREAD. JE SUIS LE PAIN ASS.
when you’re trying to sing your favorite song and your friend tries to start singing with you
HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING AROUND
I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir
This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel
I’m too drunk to stand but everyone is looking at me and someone is in the bathroom where can I vomit really fast: the trilogy
my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back
this is the wrong color tricycle mom I hate you so much this is the worst birthday ever
Jimmy reads some #AwkwardBreakup tweets.
Ending with a high-five is the best case scenario!